Everyone I encounter that asks if I have ever had a boyfriend is always shocked to hear me say no. Most of the time, I think their unbelief is funny. I'm not going to lie, though, there are times I wonder if I'm doing anything wrong that warrants me incapable of having a relationship, especially now that I am a fairly capable college student. However, I also can't deny that telling people I've never had a boyfriend, never had my first kiss, and only been on a few (granted, pretty awesome) dates, is oddly satisfying. I felt like in honor of Valentines day coming up, I'd share my reasons why.
Honestly, if you know me, you know I can be a lovesick girl sometimes. Nicholas Sparks movies are some of my favorites, you may or may not catch me squealing over a couple in the book I've got my nose in, and I have countless love songs of every form on playlists ready to go. But looking back on my school years (and my fair share of schoolgirl crushes), not having a relationship was a great move for me. Through those years, I was able to watch other relationships and observe traits that I want in my future relationships. I will value having a partner more because I know how hard, yet rewarding it can be at the same time. More importantly, I was able to focus on school. Heaven knows where I would be had I had a relationship in school. I have the strangest feeling that my GPA might have been a tiny bit lower than it was when I graduated, had that been the case. ;)
I have been able to focus on my dreams and what I want from life, without a relationship influencing my decisions. I know that traveling the world, serving an LDS mission, possibly winning Miss America, and working as Belle for Disney are dreams that I want to accomplish. Granted, some of them can have a +1 if that happens, but the fact is, I know what I want from my life. My dreams are tangible and it's intoxicating! I know that not having a relationship has helped me decide to move forward with my life until it is finally my turn. Part of me is anxious for a relationship, because hello, that's also been one of my biggest dreams, but I think that is one dream I'm going to have to accept is, for the most part, out of my control.
As for my first kiss... Well... I'm okay with saving it (as I blush behind the screen). To me, a kiss means something almost sacred. It's giving an innocent piece of me to someone. I fully intend to give that piece I have held so dear and for so long, to someone who will see how valuable it is as well. No, that doesn't necessarily mean they had never kissed someone either. Hey, life happens! What is important to me is simply that they know what I have entrusted to them, and they intend on keeping it safe for me.
I guess what I am trying to say in the simplest of ways is, some of us are slower than others at dating and marriage and all that. In the end, though, you do you. No two people are the same and so relationships to some are as easy as picking flowers, but for others, it is as hard as climbing a mountain. Both have beautiful end results.
So really, I can not wait for when it is my turn to enter the relationship scene. I also can't wait for the shock from you all when I change my status from 'single' to 'in a relationship' 😂. But until then, I will focus on my dreams and what I want to accomplish in my life. When it happens, it happens, and I know I'll appreciate it so much more when it comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment