Growing Up

So I was contemplating what I should post and couldn't think of anything. That was until I was going through my Facebook pictures to put pictures with my contacts because I have a silly thing about needing pictures going with people so I go to great lengths to find that perfect picture of them. While I was doing this, it struck me how much I missed the past and how insanely fast my life has gone so far. I realize that its not like I'm that old, but keep in mind, we are talking seventeen, coming up on eighteen years of my life here. That may be a drop in the bucket for some who are probably chuckling that I think I am so old, but for me, that is, well, my life so far. This is how far I have gotten and to me, that IS a lot!

 




I was also looking at these pictures and I became sort of melancholy. I miss those days of dance classes, summer camps with my best friend, and dress ups. I want those days back where after school I would run to my neighbor's house to play pretend. I miss the utter simplicity of elementary school and oh what I wouldn't give to just be learning my times tables and not the quadratic formula and how it applies to the alphabet! (way to ruin my grades math! :P ;) ) But I know that life is more than a simple childhood, something we all come to understand.



We live in a world where people are always angry. Angry at war, angry at the government or the law or even their neighbors or family. Nobody can be happy all at the same time, much to the dismay of those famous peace makers. There will never be a mortal day when we the world will hold hands and sing kumbaya. It's because of a word God likes to call agency, a word that the world likes to call freedom. Freedom to express, do, be whatever we so choose. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way bashing freedom. I love it! It is why I can do this blog! It is why I go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! I cherish my freedom. I think though that the problem, the true root to EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM in this world, is because we are abusing that freedom, that agency that was entrusted to us.

I like to look at The Giver for this example. That society was way too over controlling and eerie in a sense, but there is something that was said that really stuck out to me.



"When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong"

I do agree, and I am not saying this applies to only some people. Goodness, I think I choose wrong just like everyone else! I don't think that everything we choose is wrong, I just think that there are concepts that we know are wrong deep down, but we choose them anyways because it is the popular thing to do. I believe that God gave us agency, not so we can swing it on a stick frantically over our heads like a three year old with a toy sword. We are supposed to acknowledge that we have our agency, but think logically and in line with high standards, mine being religious.

Now, my intention isn't to be negative and bash life and whatever and I really am not by any means! I've noticed that I start writing with an idea in mind and then I wander down a random train of thought that comes to me as I write that is nowhere near where I started. My whole point though is that, it's really quite silly to be afraid of growing up, but in a corrupt and confused world, can you blame me? I am training myself to see the good that God created, find the peace in the chaos. So, while I miss my old friends and those late nights squealing over the 'crush of the year', I realize that I need to grow up and move on. I need to step aside and let the next round of kids have these experiences. A song I love by Of Monsters and Men says something that is kind of my life motto of sorts. It says,

"There's nothing I'd take back, but it's hard to say there's nothing I regret."



And isn't that so true? When people ask me if I could go back and change anything, I tell them no. It's because I know that all those stupid choices, no matter how idiotic, are what have shaped me today into who I am now. I love who I am, flaws and all! I am grateful for all those mistakes!

So to wrap up today's post, I would say that I miss being little, but I am looking forward to what lies ahead for me. I only hope I will have the courage to do what I need to do to follow God's plan for me and I hope you all have that courage too!